Erotica Book Review: Mittens by Phoenix Baker

Title:Mittens
Author:Phoenix Baker
Genre:Lesbian, BDSM
Length:84 pages

Overall Rating: ☆★★★★
Hotness Rating:☆★★★★

Mittens
By Phoenix Baker

Blurb:
Samantha Kasimdzhanov is a talented but scatterbrained electrical engineer and recreational hardware hacker. Her house smells of solder and stray voltage. Nina Bailey likes that smell. She also likes to be stripped, whipped, scared, bared, deprived, depraved and degraded. Now, Nina has her very own "mad scientist," to create terrifying and inventive new punishments for her. "Mittens" is a story about two women falling in love - one of whom is deliciously kinky, and the other delightfully mad.


Samantha: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. That is a line in this story. In an instant messenger chat. Is that both hilarious and awkward? Yes. Does it get even geekier? Yes, oh goodness yes.

Mittens is the story of two best female pals who become, as pals are wont to do in erotica, a bit more than pals. The whole story begins when Nina drunkenly tells Samantha about her BDSM longings. Samantha, being a dork and a little slow on the uptake, starts methodically plotting how she can help her friend achieve her desires.

Of course, Nina is actually in love with Sam, but Sam doesn't know. It's not until a steamy, awkward, and kind of romantic instant messaging session (yes, the one quoted above) that they realize their love for one another. The real fun starts after that.

Lost in thought, she'd [Sam] been brushing her teeth for a full six minutes.

Let's get this straight, this isn't your typical erotica. There are moments like the above that are almost deliberately unsexy. Phoenix injects the whole story with moments of realism, silliness, and sometimes downright absurdity.

You could say that this is an erotic comedy, getting you all heated up and cracking up in equal measure. So this isn't for you if you want a story with beautiful perfect people having rockstar sex together. Sam is a martial arts trained science geek who could crush your neck with her thighs. Nina is a shy lesbian with blooming interests in BDSM and a fetish for Radioshack. These are not exactly your average sex starlets.

Mittens is for the geeks and the nerds. They gotta have sex too.

A lot of times, even most of the time I loved the quirkiness. The love story felt real, and sweet, and reminded me of my own experiences exposing kink for the first time. As a self professed geek I loved the DIY vibrator that Sam makes for Nina. And who doesn't love a cat named after the Higgs Boson?

"Hunuh!" said Samantha. "Nuhnuhnuhnuhnuh!" "Really?" "Hebene!" Nina grinned. "That so?"

But then there were times like this. Things just went over the top, and it started to feel like watching really awkward and embarrassing amateur porn. It was just a bit too intimate. Most of the time these moments were short, but sometimes it really felt like it went on forever.

Luckily, there is so much to like about this book that I ignored these scenes and soldiered on.

Nina growled, cords standing out on her neck, pajamas damp with sweat. In her mind's eye, Samantha held Nina's hair tightly in one hand, grinding her cunt into Nina's face - her labia enveloping Nina's nose, leaving slick trails between her eyes and over her lips. In Nina's fantasy, Samantha gripped her hair with both hands and used her, like Nina used the Special Toy right now.

One of those things is the hotness, of course. There were so many good quotes that I wanted to show you guys that it was hard to choose. There were sweet moments, romantic moments, thoughtful moments, and raunchy moments. Something for everyone.

Was it hot? Yes. Even through all the cute and the joking, Mittens can stand on its own when it comes to steaminess.

When I finished Mittens I felt a mixture of emotions. I was a little miffed that the mystery of the mittens is never explained. I was interested in what will happen to Sam and Nina from here on out. I was also just pleased to have read a good story.

Details : Plot: ☆★★★★ : Characters: ☆★★★★ : Warnings: There is pee. There is also lots of saliva. You have been warned.


About the Author:
Hello! I write smut. Or rather, I write happy, sex-positive stories that aren't afraid of the occasional bit of blatant humanity. When was the last time you saw a character in a novel stop mid-sentence to sneeze? Or walk into a room, immediately forget what the hell she went in there for, and wander around for a minute trying to remember what she was doing? These little malfunctions are a part of being alive, and I think we need to see more of them in our fiction. I hope that you enjoy my stories about malfunctioning humans who fall in love and do really weird things to each other.

Links: Follow Phoenix on Twitter


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